Friday 24 June 2011

5.Dk aur Time machnine

 aaj batista ,naag, potu,sbhi bade khush the aakhir khush kyu na hote aaj pehali baar dk ne sbhi ko party me apane ghar par bhulaya tha.......potu ne to dopahar se hi shaving kara ke party me jane ki taiyyari kar li thi....
     aakhir vo pal bhi aa gaya shaam ke 7 bajte hi "aandhi aayi aandhi aayi....bhaag bhaag " jaise garmagarm geeto ke saath party start hui..... naag coldrink ka glass le kar tehal raha tha,,,,,
   tabhi potu ki awaaj sunai di "batista ,naag jaldi aao..." potu ek room par kisi hero puck jaisi gaadi me baidha chilla raha tha..........
.potu ne kaha lagta hai dk ne cycle banai hai....batista ne potu ki baat beech me hi kaatate hua bola chala to paaoge nahi....potu ne horn wali batan tabai par ye kya......batista naag potu ko machine le udi.... naag chilaya ye to bharat ratan vijeta ki khoj time machine hai........
     potu,naag,batista achanak ek gaav me pahuch jate hai.....potu... ne ek gaav vale se pucha bhaiya ye kaun sa gaav hai.... ye lahoor hai....
potu:lahoor to pakistaan me hai???
villeger: babu ye pakistaan kya hai....potu ka matha chakraya aur usane villeger ke haath me pakda news paper maga.... batista ne date padi....25 june 1920...... main heading "gandhi ji satayagray par"...... naag aur batista ko mazra samajhte hue zara bhi der nahi lagi...............
potu":ab apan kya karega??? gore angrezo ne jail me daal diya to???? "
   kisi tara ek din guzara..... raat bhar bhuke pait teeno ne plateform me guzari..... aur subah hote hi batista aur dono sathiyo ne  pait ki aag bujhane ke liye neel ki kheti ki.....

shaam hote  pata chala ki angrez adikari scott ki teen logo ne hatya kar di.....
potu:"appaaan ko darrrr lag raha kahi apan teeno ko hi na pakad le........" aur hua bhi yahi.....do angrezo ne teeno ko dekh liya ......aur chillaya ye to scott ke katil hai.....
naag to bhaag kar bil me chup gaya ...... aur
 batista ne apne jor daar prahaar se batista  ne ek gore ko maut ke ghaat utaar diya... par potu pakad gaya...
apaann ne kisi ko nahi mara.....par poto ko jail me band kar diya gaya..... potu ki ye halat dekh kar batista aur naag kafi chintit the...
   aakir judge ne potu ko sazaye maut ki saza di.... aur taarikh tay hui 28 june 1920..... potu ne mann hi mann socha kash apann java class miss karke dk ki party me na jata.....
  vo pal bhi aakhir aa gaya ...."jallad" ko dekhar potu chunk gaya "dr.tyagi"...
jallad ne banana  ke  chilke se rassi majboot ki.......pur pucha koi aakiri khoish ???????
potu:"apan ko g-talk me chat karna hai.... last time"
jallad:"ye sab kya bata raha hai "....
naag aur batista jail ke bahar the....batista ne naag ko samjate hue kaha"...

aur jallad batista ne potu ko faasi  ka fanda gale me daal diya.........



aur jelar se hukum pate hi jallad ne ...aankho se girane ka isara kiya........


par ye kya fanda to khali ho chuka tah aur potu,batista aur naag phir se apne ko hero puck jaise machine me baitha hua paya...paas khada dk muskura raha tha............. potu chilaya dk....dk....dkkkkkkkkk..........ye hum phir 2011 me aa gaye me bach gaya...........hureeeeee bhaag bhaag bhaaggggg...........

Monday 13 June 2011

gabbar aur potu

     Potu ka vaise movie me koi ruchi nahi hai... use to bas g-talk chat hi acha lagta hai.... 20 year ki age me potu ne pehali baar "shole" movie deki iske baad to gabbar ka bhut potu ko chad gaya sote jagte bas jabaan me ek hi naam "apun.. ko gabbar maar dega"....

      Dr.tayagi ne kafi der samjaya ki gabbar sirf movie ka paatra hai real me koi gabbar nahi hai par potu kaha manane wala tha..... potu ki health din-pratidin girti ja rahi  thi....ab to hallat ye the ki koi keh bhar the ki" dur-2 tak jab gaav me bachha rota hai to maa kehati hai.... " sun bhar ke potu ki saanse ukhadane lagti thi aur use ICU me bharti karana padta tha.....
     
     ek din potu ke dost batista se potu ki ya haalat nahi dekhi  gayi..... batista ne kaha ki agar gabbar ki ladki se shaadi kar lo to gabbar tujhe kabhi nahi marega... potu ko ye baat jach gayi... dubate ko jaise tinke ka sahara mil gaya....ab potu ko gabbar ka gahr pata lagana tha.....is kaam ke liye potu ke sabhi dosto ne "kauaa" ko bheja.... kauaa ne nadi,naale ghatiyan,pahaad ko paar karte hue jab vaapas aaya to usane bataya ki gabbar keral me rehata...hai potu ye khbar sun kar uchal gaya.....sabhi dosto kauua ,bachiya,dk,aur batista ne all the best bola aur potu akela laptop, aur nokia 3110c le kar keral chal diya....."behati hawa sa tha wo......................"
      potu raaste bhar "dady-2 mummy-2 jisase meri shadi hodi ...vo......" jaise song laptop par play kar raha tha...keral to aagya tha par yaha gabbar ka to kuch ata pata nahi tha....tabhi kahi se ek damdaar awaaj aayi..."java expert ..........."are haan ye to gabbar hi tha.....
POTU:"gabbar ji me aappki ladki se shadi karne aaya hu..."
GABBAR;"ha...ha...ha..... abe meri to ladki hi nahi hai....."
potu"he bhagwaan batista ne marwadiya....."
ab potu aur gabbar ke beech 100m se bhi kam ka fasala tha.... potu ko gabbar ki sakal halki -2 nazar aa rahi thi...potu chounk gaya are ye to NAAG tha...... par ye ita mota aur balwaan kaise hogya potu me mann hi mann socha....
NAAG"ab aaya camel under the mountain..."gabbar to real me koi hai hi nahi.... yaha to Naag ka aatank chalta hai.... aur naag ne potu ko pakad liya.... dono ke beech khuni sanghars  start ho gaya tha.... potu ke baaju me bhi na jane kaha se taakat aa gayi....
   par potu ka ek waar abki naag ko bhaari pad gaya......aur naag apane bil me ghus gaya se jang jeetkar potu vaapas aaya sabhi logo ne ghar me ghee ke diye jalaye kyuki pure knp me light kahi nahi aa rahi thi... potu par kuch meethe logo ne phulon ki varsha ki...... is khushi ke muke par kauaa,bachiya aadi ne mithai baati....

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Sunday 12 June 2011

Dhinka chika DK ka syamvar

   mashoor scientist dk ko ab lab me akelapan kaatane ko dodta tha .... apne is akelepan ko dur karne ke liye dk ne shadi  karne ka mann banaya.....par isme to problem thi..... bachpan se lekar aaj tak test tube se khelane vala ladki ke baare me kya jane???????????   
                dk ne apane bhai ke saaman priy mitra "paal" se raay maangi...paal ne kaha dekh bhai tu syamvar racha le jo pasand aaye usse shadi kar le......dk ko ye baat jach gayi....
              phir kya tha agle din hi dk ne website shadi ka prastaav daal diya......uske baad to brazil, westendies,bhutaan,andmaan nikobaar jaise desho se ladkiya syamvar me bhaag lene aane lagi......  
     ab to dk ki shadi ki tayiyaari joro par chal rahi thi...kaviraaz hulsi ko special bulaya gaya tha taki shadi me gazal suna ke mahool ko gum se bhar de.....
              dk ne ladkiyon ko sambhodit karte hue kaha priy behano...... jo bhi ladki 4 din lagataar lab me baith kar micro scope se jitane jayada bactriya dundegi vahi uski patni hogi...... 2din ke andar hi saari ladkiyaan bhaag gayi..... dk ka to jaise hosla hi toot gaya.... par jab usne lab me dekha to uske jaan me jaan aayi ek ladki abhi bhi thi..... aakhir 4 din pure hue......
 aur dk ne varmala us ladki ke gale me daal di.......

    dhoom dhaam se vivaah sampann hua.....barat me "kauaa","bachiya","naag","potu",batista aur kuch "mithe " log saamil the.....barat me "aandhi aayi aandhi aayi aandhi aayi aandhi aayi  bhaag bhaag... " jaise madhur sangeet par jam kar naach hua.......kauaa ji ne bhojan ka khaas luft udthya....is muke par Dr. tyaagi ne var-vadhu ko aashirvaad diya aur gift me ek chamchamati  parakh nali di............
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2.naag aur micromax modem

   jeevan ke 22 vasant dekh chuke naag is baar summer ki chuttiyu me bohat jayada kush tha aakhir kush kyu na ho is baar usne micromax ka naya modem jo liya tha........... ab to kya din kya raat sab laptop par hi gujar jaati.... thi.....

   kabhi...-2 naag jab window ke bahar potu ko football khelta hua dekhta to uska ka bhi mann khelane ko hota....phir use apni spinocord ka dyaan aa jata aur vo mann maar ke reh jata.....
  par achank ek  baaris ki shaam jab achanak naag ki najar window par gayi....to use apni aankho par vishwaas hi nahi hua...... are haan ye aur koi nahi balki naagi thi jo tennis khel rahi thi....naag ne foran apni t- shirt pehani aur bahar ki taraf chal diya.....
NAAG"naagin ji kya aap mere saath khelengi????"
naagin"haan jarur kyu nahi..........."
NAAG"aap ka koi contect no. to bata dijiye  ??????"
naagin"facebook par hu....request bhejkar add kar lena"
      naag ne mann hi mann socha ab ye facebook kis bala ka naam hai??
naag ne apne priy mitra batista  se pucha ki fb kya hai......
uske baad naag ne bina ruke 3 din tak  lagatar signup kar account banaya............. is kusi ki sabase pehale khabar java expert er.potu ko di....... potu ne jaise hi ye khabar sunai uske haath se nokia3110c phone chutt gaya...aur pairo ke neeche se zameen khisak gayi.....
potu ko ye baat bilkul achi nahi lagi..... aur usne cyber expert dr.tyaagi se bam batane ki training li....
pepsodent,pudiya ji, crime expert dr.hulsi ke maargdarsan me bam banae me nupudata haaisl karli... ab to potu chote se java programe se kisi bhi electronic device ko minto me bam bana deta
tha.....aur ek din potu naag ke ghar gaya...aur mauka paa kar uske micromax modem ko bam bana diya....
aur agle din jaise naag chat kar raha tha uske jeevan ki ghadi bhi start ho gayi thi... par achnak door bell baji are ye to naagin thi,,,, "NAAG ji kya aap apna modem de sakte hai 2 din ke liye??"
NAAG"haan haan kyu nahi.....modem kya aap ke liye to.................de sakte............."
aur naag ne apna modem naagin ko de diya us din ke baad se naagin ko kisi ne nahi dekha...........ye baat ya to me janta hu ya phir naag"""""
saath hi boht se sawaal piche rehgaye......kya potu ek safal bam bana ke apni guru dachida de paya .............??

Saturday 11 June 2011

1.sadhu batista ke kamandal me kauua...........

          BABA Ram dev ke ansan ke 15 din beet chuke the..desh bhar me 15 aug. jaisa mahool tha.... jagah-2 par....."aye mere pyare vatan " jaise deshbhaki ke geeto se mahool garm tha...... aise me inspekatar.... batista bhi apni naukari se chutti le kar....ansan ke liye chal diya...... kyuki sab log tane dete the ki kha kha ke mota ho gaya hai..... batista ne socha chale 2-4 din khana na sahi...isi bhanane jantar mantar  to ghumane ko milega.......
             vahi baba RAM dev ne ek baar phir delhi ka rukh kar diya tha unke saath laakho logo ka jan saillab tha..... "Bachiya", "ANdha pyar", pepsodent sabhi log baba ki jaikaar laga rahe the..... kuch "MITHE" log bhi bheed me samil the jinka dil me kuch aur tha jabaan me kuch aur..........
          baba ke saath APOLO Hospital ke varist doctor "tyaagi" bhi the... jo har pal baba ke helth par nazar banaye hue the.... batista ne bhi bhgawa rang ka vastra pena hua tha , gale me rudrach ki mala aur hatho me kamandal.......akhir batista aur baba dono jantar mantar pahuch gaye..............
    BABA ne jaise hi batista ko dekha ....ve mand mand muskuraye unhone socha.... agar ise stage par bula le to suracha ka bhi khatra nahi rahega......baba ne ungali se batista ki aur ishara kiya aur use manch ki aur aane ko kaha......ab to mediya ke saare camera batista ki aur the.... batista ab baba ke bilkul sameep baitha tha....
baba ne batista se pucha "beta ansan par ho??? kab tak karoge ansan???"
batista"haan baba.....main hu..aakhiri saans tak karuga ansa..."

dheere dheere ab mediya ka dhyaan sirf batista ki aur yha uska prabhaavshali bhaasan.... logo ku lubha raha tha......baba ko achank bhir haridyaar jana pada ...... par jantar mantar ki bheed ne to jaise hatane ka naam hi nahi liya....
         aaj batista ke ansan ka 51 va din tha par uske chehare me to pehale din jaisa tez tha.....Dr. tyagi bhi hairaan the aakhire koi itane din tak bina khye tandarust  kaise reh sakta hai??????
 ab to har roj logo ka huzum badta ja raha tha....... desh bhar me hi nahi balki china, japaan, america,rushia,,,,na jane kitane desho se log yaha aa rahe the.....

ab to 151 din ho chale the aakhir sabhi desho ke logo ke precident ne india ke PM par dabaav daal ke baat maane  ko kaha.....PM ne kaha hum sadhu batista ki sabhi shart mante par me ye jana chahuga ki aakhir itane dino tak ye jeevat kaise hai..... iski jaanch ke liye BRITEN ke mashoor expert "er.potu" ko india bulaya gaya..... jab potu ne dekha ki batisa ke paas kamandal ke shiva kuch nahi hai...jaise hi potu ne kamandal ke andar dekha to usme kauaaa "samose liye hue baitha tha...."
       ab ye raaz duniya ke samane aa chuka tha ki batista  ka paaltu kauaa roz kahi  se pizza, samosa, bargar,sanwitch batisata ke liye lata tha aise to vo 10 year tak maze se reh sakta tha...............
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